


i'll give everything that i got (for your love)

by andersens



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Coming Out, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 00:44:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13376514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andersens/pseuds/andersens
Summary: Four times Auston and Mitch almost get found out, plus one time they decide to come out.





	i'll give everything that i got (for your love)

**Author's Note:**

> warnings: homophobia is mentioned because the fear of it is why they're keeping their relationship a secret. but it's not dwelled on too much, because I experience enough homophobia in my real life and like to escape it as much as possible in my writing. 
> 
> also, spoiler warning, but they never actually fully get caught hooking up or anything. so, no one is outed without their consent. just wanted to say that in case it was a thing anyone thinking about reading this was worried about. 
> 
> title is from ready to run by one direction
> 
> and finally, if you or anyone you know is mentioned in this fic please turn back now for both of our sakes. also, none of this is real i made it all up.

**I.**

They file into Auston’s apartment one right after the other, feeling completely dead on their feet after a tough loss. Auston leads them into the living room and Mitch immediately collapses on the couch. “You want anything?” Auston asks. He’s not really in the mood to be the world’s greatest host, but his mom would kill him if he didn’t at least offer and old habits die hard. 

“Nah,” Mitch says, “I’m good. Come sit down.” 

Auston sinks into the couch, and Mitch immediately moves to cuddle into his side. Auston’s not usually the biggest fan of cuddling, but Mitch is…Mitch. It’s just always felt different with him. 

They lapse into silence after that, and it doesn’t take long for Auston to get lost in thought. The goal that started their downfall actually tipped off of his stick and into their own net. He’s never felt more directly responsible for a loss in his life. Freddie had been playing lights out for them, and Auston had fucked it all up, and hadn’t even been able to make up for it. 

Mitch cuddles into him a little more, probably trying to break Auston out of his thoughts. And says, “Hey, where’s your dad?” 

Auston shrugs, “I honestly thought he’d be here before us. He must have gotten held up somehow. If he’s not here soon remind me to call him and check on him.” 

Mitch nods, and then he says, “Wanna watch something?” 

“I don’t know,” Auston says. “Not really in the mood. Sorry. I know I’m being a buzzkill. You can leave if you want.” 

“Hey, no,” Mitch says. He falls silent for a second and then seemingly unable to help himself says, “It wasn’t your fault, Auston. Your stick could have just as easily have saved that from being a goal. And everyone fell apart after that. It was everyone’s fault. You can’t singlehandedly win or lose us a game.” 

“Logically I know that, but,” he trails off, knowing he doesn’t really have to explain, and Mitch sighs next to him. 

“Yeah, I get it,” he says. “To be honest, there have been times this season where I couldn’t believe they weren’t sending me down or trying to trade me.” 

“Wait what,” Auston says, fully snapping out of his thoughts and turning his head to look at Mitch. “Are you serious?” 

“Yeah, I mean, I don’t know. Not really. It’s kind of like you just said. Like, logically, I know they probably wouldn’t, but every loss felt like my fault for a while. Like because I couldn’t get the puck to just go in the back of the net I was directly responsible for every loss. It still kind of feels like that to be honest. Like, I know I’m still putting up points and that assisting is still important but I’ve only got five goals. Everyone expects more than that from me. I expect more than that from me.” 

“Sounds like we’re both putting too much pressure on ourselves, huh?” Auston says. 

Mitch takes a deep breath, and lets it out slowly, his cheeks puffing out with it, and then says, “Yep, probably so. Kind of hard to stop though, isn’t it?” 

Auston sighs and shifts so that they’re both looking at each other, heads resting against the back of the couch. The moment feels heavy, and Auston’s not sure if it’s just because of the conversation or if they’re teetering on the edge of something else. He hopes it’s something else, but he’s been harboring this crush for so long that that’s probably just wishful thinking. 

He reaches out for Mitch’s hand though, trailing his thumb over the palm of it before gripping the tips of Mitch’s fingers gently between his own. Mitch breaks eye contact to look at their hands, and when he looks back up at Auston he looks determined for a split second, and then he’s pitching forward. Auston follows his lead, dipping his head down, and then they’re kissing. 

He opens his mouth wider, trying to deepen it, and that’s when they hear the front door open, and Mitch springs up. 

‘I gotta go,” he says. “Sorry.” 

“Mitch,” Auston tries. “Wait.” 

“Sorry, sorry, really gotta go though,” Mitch says, fleeing the room. 

**II.**

“We’ll talk about it, but not yet. I don’t want practice to be weird,” is the first thing Mitch says when he picks Auston up for practice the next morning. 

Auston nods while he settles into the passenger seat, and tries not to let his emotions show on his face. He had hoped Mitch had just left yesterday because the arrival of Auston’s dad had spooked him, but now it sounds like Mitch had actually maybe just realized he wasn’t interested in Auston after all. 

Auston takes a few deep breaths, trying to clear his head, as they drive toward the practice rink. He doesn’t want to let what’s going on with him and Mitch affect him at practice. 

He tries to be discreet about it, but it seems like Mitch notices something is up, because he keeps glancing over at him. And once they’re almost there Mitch breaks the somewhat awkward silence, saying, “Hey, are you okay?” 

“Yeah, dude, I’m fine,” Auston says. 

Mitch hums noncommittally, and pulls into the parking garage. And as soon as they’re parked Auston moves to get out. But Mitch reaches over and grabs his sleeve, stopping him before he can. 

“Hey, look, I don’t want you to be stressing about this so. I’m sorry I kissed you. I hope we can still be friends,” Mitch says. 

“I thought we weren’t talking about this. But like, it’s fine you don’t like me. I’ll get over it. Of course we’re still friends,” Auston says, refusing to make eye contact. 

“Wait what?” Mitch says. “Why would you think I don’t like you? I’m the one who kissed you. I thought you didn’t like me.”

Auston lets out a small laugh, and shakes his head. “Dude, what the fuck? I kissed you back. You’re the one who ran out of my apartment, and then said you didn’t want to make practice weird.” 

“I ran out of the apartment because I thought I had just embarrassed myself. And I said I didn’t want to make practice weird because I assumed you were going to be rejecting me when we talked about it.” 

“Oh my god,” Auston says, looking over at Mitch finally. Mitch has got a huge grin on his face and Auston’s pretty sure his own matches it. 

“I think there have been some minor misunderstandings,” Mitch says. “So, okay, here’s the thing, I’ve liked you for a long time now. Like you have no idea. And I’d very much like to kiss you again.” 

“You should probably do that then,” Auston says. 

Mitch rolls his eyes, and moves as though he’s going to lean in for a kiss, but before he can there’s a knock on the window. Auston jumps backward and turns to see Willy staring in at them, a giant grin on his face.

“Oh my god,” Auston says, and then he turns back to Mitch. “We’ll continue this conversation post practice, back at my place.” 

“Yeah,” Mitch says. “Okay, that sounds good.”

**III.**

A few weeks later, Auston’s just gotten back to his stall in the dressing room after his post morning skate shower, when he hears his phone buzz somewhere near him. 

He digs it out from under some of his stuff and sees the text is from Mitch. Which is only surprising because Mitch is still here. He can hear him across the room talking loudly with Brownie. 

Auston glances up across the room at him while he swipes his phone open. 

“Wanna blow you so bad right now. I’d honestly drag you out to my car right now if I wasn’t afraid we’d end up traumatizing a parking attendant.” 

“Jesus, Mitch,” Auston sends back. 

He glances back up at Mitch, and when he catches his eye Mitch raises his brows suggestively. Auston snorts out a laugh and breaks eye contact with him. He refuses to let Mitch get him all worked up when they’re surrounded by teammates like this. 

He works on getting dressed, letting the familiar locker room sounds of people laughing and talking wash over him. Willy must have managed to convince someone to let him take over the music for a while because the music blaring through the room sounds like some kind of Swedish dance music. 

His phone buzzes again once he’s mostly dressed, and even though he knows he’s gonna regret it he swipes it open and looks down at the new text. 

“You really do look so fucking hot today. Wanna get my hands and my mouth all over you. Gonna let me blow you before we nap or are you gonna make me wait till after the game?” 

“Hmm” Auston sends, and then “Think I’m gonna make you wait. But play well tonight and I promise I’ll make it worth it.” 

Someone plops down beside him, and Auston nearly jumps out of his skin. He’d gotten so lost in his conversation with Mitch that he almost forgot where he was. 

“Good text?” Freddie asks, smirking knowingly.

Auston rolls his eyes, and says, “What do you want?” 

“Wanna grab lunch together real quick?” he asks.

“Yeah, cool if Mitch comes? I actually drove for a change today so he’ll have to find a new way home if I ditch him.” 

“Fine by me,” Freddie says. “I’ll meet you outside,” he adds before getting up and walking away. 

Mitch sits down next to him a few seconds later, while Auston is pulling on his shirt, and Auston says, “Hey, Freddie wants to grab lunch. You down?” 

“Yeah, I guess we’ll just have to continue our conversation later,” Mitch says. 

“Yeah, I guess so,” Auston says, a smile overtaking his face as he finishes getting dressed. 

**IV.**

A month later, while they’re riding high on the resounding 5-1 win they just pulled off, Mitch presses Auston up against the wall in their hotel room. “That fucking goal,” Mitch says, tugging on Auston’s tie. 

“Well, I mean, someone gave me a pretty sick assist,” Auston says, pushing Mitch’s suit jacket off. 

“Oh yeah, who was that?” Mitch asks, a dopey smile taking over his face. 

“You’re such a nerd,” Auston says, leaning in and scraping his teeth over Mitch’s jaw. Mitch shudders, and his hands fall to Auston’s pants button. 

“Come on, I wanna blow you,” he says. 

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” Auston says, a little breathless. 

But then, just as Mitch is about to fall to his knees, there’s a knock on the door. 

“Shit,” Auston says. “I totally forgot. Patty asked before the game if we wanted him to come by and play cards tonight. I said yeah.” 

“Damn it, Auston,” Mitch says, getting up and trying to make himself look presentable again. 

“Well, I didn’t know my hockey was going to get you this hot tonight.” 

Mitch rolls his eyes. “God, you have such a big head,” he says, but there’s no heat behind it. “Fix your clothes. I’m going to answer the door.” 

Auston adjusts himself and picks up Mitch’s suit jacket from the floor, laying it out across the desk instead. And then Mitch pulls open the door. “Hey, Patty,” he says. 

“Hey,” Patty says, coming through the door and into the room. “You guys ready to play?” 

“Yeah, can we play poker tonight?” Auston asks. 

“I mean, I’m just going to take all your money again, but that’s fine by me if it’s what you want,” Patty says. 

“Okay, whatever, old man,” Mitch says. “We were still learning before. We’ve been practicing. We’re good now.” 

“Okay, well, then let’s see what you got,” Patty says, starting to get things situated on the small table in the corner of the room. 

Auston takes the chance while Patty is distracted to cross the room, and whisper in Mitch’s ear, “Hey, we’ll continue that later, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” Mitch whispers back, “Assuming I’m still in the mood after Patty kicks our asses.” 

Auston laughs, and mumbles, “And hey, maybe we should talk about starting to tell a few people soon. So that we get interrupted a little less often.” 

“Yeah,” Mitch says. “We’ll have to talk about who we feel comfortable telling, because it’s risky for obvious reasons, but I’d like to tell a few people soon, yeah.” 

Auston nods, and then Patty starts calling at them to stop conspiring and get over there. So, Auston sends a small smile Mitch’s way, and they both head over to join Patty at the table. 

**V.**

A couple weeks later, they’re at a hotel room in Nashville, as part of a road trip. And Mitch is pressing slow kisses to Auston’s neck and shoulder when they hear a knock at their door. 

Auston lets out a frustrated groan, and Mitch laughs against his skin. This hadn’t really been leading anywhere anyway because they were planning on leaving the room soon, but still. 

Mitch rolls off of him, and Auston scrambles for his shirt which they had tossed to the ground earlier, while Mitch heads for the door. 

Mitch waits for him to get his shirt on and settle on the edge of the bed, and then he turns back to the door and pulls it open. 

“Hey,” he says, and pulls it open wider so whoever is out there can come in. 

Willy, Brownie, Freddie and Zach all follow each other in and Mitch shuts the door back behind them. 

Brownie and Freddie walk over and settle on the other bed across from Auston. Zach opts for the huge leather chair in the corner of the room and Willy settles on the floor in front of him. So Mitch comes and sits next to Auston. 

“So, we were thinking about just kind of going out and wandering around Nashville for a while since we still have a few hours before we need to go to bed. You guys want to come?” Brownie asks.

“We have plans,” Mitch says. 

“And they are?” Willy asks. 

“None of your business,” Auston says. 

Willy rolls his eyes, and says, “Seriously where are you going, and why can’t we just tag along with you guys?” 

“We’re just going out to eat,” Auston says. 

“Ooookay,” Willy says. “So, why can’t we come?”

“Oh my god, just tell them,” Mitch says. 

“You sure?” Auston asks. 

Mitch leans in to him, talking quietly, “Yeah, if it’s okay with you. We were planning on telling them and some of the others soon anyway. So, I mean,” he trails off, but Auston nods. 

“Yeah, okay,” he says, and Mitch tangles their fingers together between them on the bed. 

Zach’s eyes follow the movement, but no one else really seems to notice. 

“Okay, so we were planning on it being a date, you guys. Because we’re dating. Have been for a few months,” Auston says.

“Oh,” Willy says, “Seriously?” 

He doesn’t sound mad or negative at all, just genuinely curious. So Auston nods his head. “Yep.” 

“That’s awesome,” he says. “I mean it.” 

“Yeah,” Zach adds. “That’s great you guys. Does anyone else know?” 

“Not yet,” Mitch says. “We have plans to tell a few more people on the team and our parents and siblings. That’s pretty much it for now though. Eventually we’ll tell the whole team, just because it’ll hopefully make some things easier, but we’re not really ready for that or anything beyond that yet.” 

“Okay, Cool,” Zach says. “Well, we’ve got your back when you want to tell the rest of the team, and if you ever decide to go more public than that.” 

“Yeah, for sure,” Freddie says. “And hey, I’m happy for you guys.” 

“Yeah, me too,” Brownie adds. 

“Lineys forever,” Willy singsongs, holding out his hand for a fist bump. 

Auston rolls his eyes, but he’s in a good mood so he reaches out and bumps it. Feeling safe enough on a hockey team to ever come out to any of his teammates isn’t something he was ever sure he would have. And yeah, these are the people he and Mitch most expected to be okay with it, and he knows it probably won’t always be this easy when they decide to tell more people. But even just having this many people on his team be okay with it and not be homophobic asshats is more than he ever counted on. 

Knowing that he has a few people that know, and that they’re on his and Mitch’s side, it’s like a huge weight is lifted from his shoulders. Like that instant feeling of lightness he gets when he finally scores a goal after a few games without one, but so so much better. 

“Thanks guys,” Mitch says. 

“Don’t mention it,” Willy says. “And hey I know you’re going on a date, but if after you eat you decide you want to hang with us for a while just text one of us, and we’ll let you know where we are.” 

“Yeah cool,” Mitch says. “We might take you up on that depending on what time it is when we get done with dinner.”

“Cool,” Zach says. “We’ll get out of here then and let you guys get ready.” 

“But, also, I hope you guys are ready for so much chirping about this now that we know,” Connor adds as he, Zach, Freddie, and Willy stand up to leave. 

Auston laughs and makes a shooing motion with the hand that isn’t holding Mitch’s. “Shut up, and get out of my fucking room.” 

All of them laugh at that as they head out, and once the door is shut behind them, Mitch turns toward Auston. 

“That went well,” Mitch says, grinning from ear to ear. 

“Yeah, that’s such a relief,” Auston says. “I’m glad we told them.”

“Me too,” Mitch says, leaning in for a lingering kiss. And when he finally pulls away he says, “So, I know we were planning on going out since we don’t always have time for actual dates. Buuuuut, how about we just stay in and order room service and have incredible sex instead?” 

Auston smiles, and says, “Yeah, staying in sounds fine to me,” and then he pulls Mitch in for another kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> regarding the first part, i wrote that part after the columbus game and it was supposed to take place after that game. but i was never really 100% sure whether that goal actually went in off auston's stick or not. the commentators thought so and I figured they were right but i never saw a definitive shot of it. so that's why i didn't mention an opponent. so that if i'm wrong we can all just pretend that part takes place after some game in the future. 
> 
> and regarding the fourth part, i know auston and mitch don't usually get to play together, but they do sometimes get thrown on the same line, and mitch has assisted on a couple of auston's goals before so I hope that seemed realistic enough.
> 
> and lastly, oh my god, i've had the worst writers block for nearly a year now. and i'm just so happy i finally managed to finish something I could cry. this probably isn't the best writing i've ever done since I'm a little rusty but i hope you all enjoyed it and i'm really hoping i've officially snapped out of my writer's block now and will be able to finish and post more stuff soon.
> 
> i'm on twitter: [@overturnedgoal](http://twitter.com/overturnedgoal)


End file.
